🔗 Share this article

On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments often turn “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You’re riding high and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are often followed by a “emotional downturn”, where he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his actions, making him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from those around him. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms online – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. But, he is skeptical he would have taken the label unless he had previously arrived at that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they experience feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been identified with narcissism for decades, definitions vary what people refer to as the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people conceal it, as there is so much stigma associated with the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Though a significant majority of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings indicates this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who posts about her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and not being accepted,” she explains, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I often enter defence mode or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures during development. “I’ve been learning over the years the difference between and is not appropriate to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my household were criticizing me in my early years.”

Origins of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The individual explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: “They said it is probably going to be early next year.”

John has only told a few individuals about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he explains. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the growth of online advocates and the development of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number